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crowenology (archive)

by bobbycrowe

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1.
there are voices in the darkness there is music down the hall there are tear-stains on the carpet there are fist-holes in the wall there's a little boy who lives alone and no one knows his name people here just call him psycho but his dog-tag still reads James they say that he's a lunatic and a nuisance to the world his wife left him ten years ago and took his little girl his uncle sends him money and pills to keep him calm for all those lonely nights when he goes back to Vietnam cause Jimmy saw the missiles scream and he heard the bullets cry and Jimmy saw the eyes of men as they suffered there and died and jimmy felt the kick of the gun in his own hands as he watched the men he killed with it fall into the sand
2.
i am lying here lying on the floor watching the ceiling fan it doesn’t work no more you now my need before i need it you fill the air so when i breath it you fill me too the windows are reflecting the trees outside are dancing together the birds are dancing too you know my heart im a foolish man if you say walk easy i can i can i know i can the operator keeps telling me that my phone is off the hook but i don’t look im watching the ceiling fan you know the dark before i walk there my path is filled with wisdom so rare you know my place of retreat you walk with me there the windows are reflecting the trees outside are dancing together the birds are dancing too you know my need before i need it you fill the air so when i breath it you fill me too im sad and weak your strong and meek and in your wings i seek i seek my solace i am lying here lying on the floor watching the ceiling fan it doesn’t work no more
3.
talk to me its so quiet tell me how you dream at night hand me visions to hang on to show me glimpses of the light stay with me i want to be alone close your eyes and hold my hand phoenix rise up from the ashes consumed in fire once again oh, alone inside this rage oh, locked inside this living cage you give me solace you give me solace from myself its ok i know your watching feel the burn see me rise touch the pain inside the ashes lye awake hear me cry stay with me i want to be alone close your eyes and hold my hand phoenix rise up from the ashes consumed in fire once again oh, alone inside this rage oh, locked inside this living cage you give me solace you give me solace from myself
4.
John's Song (free) 04:29
5.
one two three i cannot see because the light is shining on me haven’t seen a day in seven nights lying in a bathtub pool of blood-red desperation the smile i don’t remember is far away and they say this house is haunted but it doesn’t bother me cause i can’t feel a thing beneath my toes and there’ s a question blinking neon sign on a foggy night it says to me “where did the list go?” oh, how did the light disappear and why did i let it go and how can i get it back and how can i make this darkness go away they call this my addiction i call it my only friend but it’s standing over me a smiling child with a loaded gun and reality is just a word i have no meaning for it’s image a reflection broken mirror on the floor oh, how did the light disappear and why did i let it go and how can i get it back and how can i make this darkness go away i guess its time to time to take these chains and throw them off the bridge of night and in the rippled shadow waters i can see the answers forming oh, how did the light disappear and why did i let it go and how can i get it back and how can i make this darkness go away
6.
Jane (free) 05:10
she wears a pink prom dress from 1963 i asked her why she wears it all the time she said, “it looks good on me” she says she dug it out of a rich woman’s trash and not a thing was wrong with it even came with a sash her name is Rebecca but i call her Jane and we take walks in the sunlight we take walks in the rain she says that the weather is all in your mind and as long as your sunny inside you’ll be alright and that’s Jane that’s Jane that’s just Jane people call her homeless she calls herself free she says,”houses and cars, they don’t mean nothing to me” and i say Jane won’t you let me take you home so you can eat and rest she says, “Home is where your heart is, and mines in my chest” and that’s Jane that’s Jane that’s just Jane and sometimes at night when the weather is cold i think about Jane she’s so fragile and old and she’s somewhere out there sleeping out on the street but i know if i went to her i know what she’d say she’d say, “Son what are you doing out here this late go back to your bed and stop your worrying about me” and that’s Jane that’s Jane that’s just Jane well my friends all think i’m crazy for walking around with a grey old homeless woman in a pink tattered gown but i know that Jane has a lot more to give she knows how to be free, she knows how to live she says, “Live life in the moment, cause that’s all you’ve got, and that’s always something though it’s never a lot. and life is the same no matter where you live, it’s not what you can take from it but what you can give” and that’s Jane that’s Jane that’s just Jane
7.
i can see the door in the reflection of your eyes and i can see the way you shake when the wind blows by now i know that i can be unkind and there are times when i am blind to the ways that your feeling but i can feel you stealing away and if i have to ask you if i have to beg you please and baby if you want me down upon my knees that’s where you got me i can hear the thunder its hiding out under the trees but i don’t see any lightning anymore when you look at me now i can give you what you need i can make you sweat i can make you bleed if that’s the way you want it then baby come get on it now and if i have to ask you if i have to beg you please and baby if you want me down upon my knees that’s where you got me i can hear you talking on the telephone in the other room and your telling somebody else that your gonna be there with him soon well you better think about what your gonna do when that other man he’s all done with you your gonna come back a runnin and i know what you’ll be humming to me you’ll be sayin if i have to ask you if i have to beg you please and baby if you want me down upon my knees that’s where you got me
8.
she was an artist and deep in her soul the images always grew but she kept it a secret an intimate part that nobody ever knew and as she grew older her secrets within began to take hold of her heart then the life that surrounded her and the passions that drowned her began to tear her apart and she tries to forget them she tries to regret the she tries to push them away but the feelings grow stronger and keep staying longer to torture her every day and she feels she’s in danger and fear turns to anger and she curses what she’ll never try and in her confusion her failing illusion she prays to the ceiling and sky and she’s walking around Jericho waiting for the walls to fall and she holds out her hands but the walls they still stand no victory to claim nobody else to blame he gave his life to be everything and to see all that the world had to give no commitment or circumstance would he ever give the chance to change the way he wants to live but youth it will leave you and pleasures deceive you when passion is something you crave and thoughts they will linger and point out their fingers and ask what it is that you gave and he tries to forget them he tries to regret them he tries to push them away but the thoughts they grow stronger and keep staying longer to torture him every day and he feels he’s in danger and fear turns to anger and he curses what he’ll never try and in his confusion his failing illusion he prays to the ceiling and sky and he’s walking around Jericho waiting for the walls to fall and he holds out his hands but the walls they still stand no victory to claim nobody else to blame
9.
Fall Upon Me (free) 04:49
i heard the call today but i can’t make out the sound i feel like the wind is blowing underneath the ground and i’m drowning in my restlessness can’t you see that i can’t stay of course you can lonely is the tongue that’s tied up or so he said to me i’m not so lonely anymore that’s not what’s wrong you see i need my childhood i need my dreams and tonight you can give those back to me and fall upon me in my sacred hour fall upon me in my quiet pain i hear voices in the hallway whispering my name but the light will never come on the dreams always the same and the moon it seems to pull me like my fathers heavy stare i’m always packing up my bags and never going anywhere fall upon me in my sacred hour fall upon me in my quiet pain fall upon me lend me all your laughter fall upon me like 100 flowers
10.
Angel Waltz (free) 04:46
she wakes me singing in the moonlight she brings in my dreams on a plate she waltzes slowly with the moonbeams that reach through the clouds to her face she says she’s going away to heaven says it’s a place i ought to see she says that she wants to take me with her but cities made of stone aren’t for me and so she stands out of my arms reach and shakes her smile to the ground two steps taken slowly backward she’s leaving me for higher ground
11.
i’ve been talking through the telephone lines and i’ve been walking all around tell me tell me what do you know i’m always caught in the undertow let butterflies be free to fly let butterflies be free tonight i’ve been speaking lovers words have you seen me have you heard inside the moment speak in dreams its always never what it seems let butterflies be free to fly let butterflies be free tonight met another girl from another world from another time she was a butterfly let butterflies be free to fly let butterflies be free tonight had to go away wish that i could stay in the bed of a butterfly let butterflies be free to fly let butterflies be free tonight
12.
i’ve been chasing shadows i’ve been flying high you’ve been back at home all alone i’m the reason why you see you and me are participating in a chance the circumstance of love it’s intoxicating but i know how things go every shiny thing fades away today some say isn’t any reason to cry memories become strangers no matter how we try love can never wait and we hesitate it will leave us standing its all OK that’s all i have to say i can feel you fading away every shiny thing every shiny thing every shiny thing fades away
13.
Melanchoholic (free) 04:06
where are we now and how much further there are so many things i cannot whisper i dare to hide i keep them locked away inside my mind oh here we go disagreeing mixing feelings with colors in the sky no i don’t want to fight and why cant you look me in the eyes today and make this go away and why does love have to be so sad why does it feel so bad when you walk away please don’t turn away where are we now and how much further
14.
I'll Be There (free) 03:49
baby if you need me i’ll be there any space or time those are their concepts not mine i’ll be there with you i will be the blanket where you sleep i will be the cup from which you drink the fire that lights your cigarette i’ll be there with you and if you feel me in the room even when i’m far away don’t be afraid i’ll be there with you i’ll be there with you baby if you need me i’ll be there
15.
discarded angles forgotten photographs of how it used to be the time of you and me i started off so slow there’s more that i need to know and i’m stranded on this sea of fear discarded angels disappear
16.
Ghost (free) 03:52
if i touched your hand or returned your glance if i didn’t say goodnight away we’d go we’d fly as high as birds remember what we learned never to return and were together but i’m a ghost i disappear
17.
Brother David (free) 05:00
brother David across the sea brother David prays for me and everywhere these feelings come from air to show us we’re together to show us we’re together sister Jane bears her pain to give her love to give her love and everywhere these feelings come from air to show us we’re together to show us we’re together
18.
reach for me whenever your feeling like the only human being who has the time to care and you will see that there are many here among us reach for me and we will be together reach for me whenever you need something different and i will see a whole new person there don’t want to be the shutters that clutter your horizons reach for me and we will be together open your hands and reach for me open your heart and we will be together
19.
don’t say it because i already know got to live so i got to go but i’m feeling i could stay a while right here right now ok here although there’s nothing to show keep searching for what we already know and i’m seeing there’s nothing to fear right here right here right now
20.
Where Do I Go (free) 03:42
look into my eyes and hear out my sin my body is battered my spirit worn thin and please can’t you see me through the curtain of fear and can’t someone tell me where do i go from here the clock on the wall makes fools of us all it points out its hands with fiery demands but it never will tell you what exactly you should do the options are endless the answers are few and can’t someone tell me where do i go where do i go where do i go from here

about

This is kind of a "best of" album compiled from self-studio recordings and old cassettes of live gigs. I put it together for friends who have followed my music from the old days.

credits

released March 21, 2019

Thanks to all the greats who played with me here and there on these songs: Norbert Leo Butz, John Mark Turner, Dave "P'Mo", Michael Chromey, Dave Preistman, David Lozdan, Arnie Singh, Mira Vana, Jiri Hora, and the boys from "Green Butter"

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bobbycrowe Tabor, Czechia

traveler, musician, dude.

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